My father is my hero.
He
met my mom in 1960 and from the time he laid eyes on her until the time her
eyes closed for the last time, Dad worshiped her. He had good reason to, my mom
was a 4' 11" giant. She was larger than life, had a smile the size of
Jupiter, and lit up every room she adorned. She was graceful, loving, kind to a
fault, and her heart was as big as her smile. But she was a terrier. You didn't
mess with my mom! And you kinda didn't mess with Dad either...though he was a
quiet man.
They were inseparable.
They idolized each other. Their marriage was perfect, because they worked on
it, and because of the moral code that Dad possesses.
Dad was a working-class man.
He had more jobs that I have hair these days, and in his retirement years,
especially since he lost the love of his life, he has stayed busy. Dad was not
an educated man, but that was out of necessity, because in those days, with a
family of 12 to help support, if you were from a working class background you
went to work as soon as you were able. He's an intelligent and witty man and
just about the most caring and self-sacrificing individual on this
wonderful planet of ours. Despite his lower social standing, Dad was a great
leader in the home. Everyone knew Dad was 'The Man'.
I would like to recount
the story of how I followed in my father's footsteps and how I raised my own
family using the moral code my father had passed to me. I would like to, but I
can't, because I did not follow his example. I went my own way.
Educated to a university
level, I thought I was magnificent. I was a natural sportsman, good looking,
fit, and bright. Life was all about me. But I had much insecurity that ate away
at me. I had no self-confidence, no drive, and no ambition. I was easily bored
with everything I turned my hand to; even though I was very good at everything
I had a go at.
I met my first wife,
Tracey, at a bar. Within two years we were married, and within four we had our
first baby. I joined the military, we had another baby. Life trudged on. I did
not step up and lead my home, it led me. Consequently, there was constant
conflict and after 20 years together, Tracey and I quit on each other.
Then came, Rebecca. She
is the love of my life and I will be with her forever, but has it been easy?
Hell no! Blending families, dealing with international moves, and not to
mention my continual penchant for changing jobs and moving around to make
myself feel better, took their toll on us. Not to mention Rebecca is a serious
A-type personality and control freak. Our union was a recipe for disaster! And
for the first six years that's just what it was. It's still a work in progress!
But there is hope.
Statistics will tell you
that the divorce rate for second marriages is 60%. What's different about this
relationship? Me.
I've had to step up and
take the lead. A strong Godly man in the home who is discipled in the art of
Christian leadership is the only answer to the woes of the modern world. I had
to honestly and brutally examine myself and I didn't like what I found.
In my next post, I'll
tell you what I am doing to ensure that I am more like my father, and less like
Al Bundy, because there's no such thing as a second chance when it comes to
marriage. We men must get it right the first time. We must take charge and lead
our homes the right way, for the sake of those we love, and for the glory of
the one who loves us more than we can ever love Him.
Until next time…
